Are you caught in the sandwich generation, looking after parents and looking after children? How do you cope with it? Do you think your life is particularly stressful because of this? Many of us with unmarried children under 25 living at home are also caring for an older relative.

More women than men are caught in this trap, women who thought they would have it much easier when they got to the mid 40s and 50s. now find that things are much harder. Just when they think their children are grown up, their parents become their children.

There are various ways to deal with the sort of stress that comes from taking care of two different generations. The first all important person is yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others. Ensure you are happy with what you are doing, how you are reacting to the circumstances. Take time out for yourself and accept your feelings.

Remember your children, however old are always your children. They want to know they are loved, however many boundaries they try and breach. They may resent the time you are spending away from them, either with parents or at work. Explain your situation to them and help them understand what you are doing and ask for their help. Lots of parents don't like to ask for the children's help in this sort of situation but children will respect you for it. It will give them good values and a healthy self esteem.

Remind both parents and children who you are and that you deserve a lift. Sometimes you may feel that you are being pulled in both directions when that happens, regroup yourself and remind yourself what is important and above all, never lose your sense of humour.

Be patient with yourself, your parents and your children and if things get too much seek help or just take time out for you. Being part of the 'sandwich generation' means taking good care of yourself. Don't forget you are allowed to make mistakes.

Women especially can find it hard in dealing with the two generations but asking for help can make all the difference in how you communicate with your parents and children. Find someone you can 'off load' to - a friend, a coach, a guide or a specialist in relationship issues. Find out exactly what you want your future with the two generations to be like.

Regrets can become a noose around your neck and interfere with your life and your motivation. They can cause you to be unhappy, have feelings that you don't want to have.

Where is carrying round your disappointments, missed opportunities, focusing on what could have been or would have done getting you? What use is it to you to keep these feelings of missed opportunities? How much better for you to learn from them. If you are constantly focusing on what you did or didn't do when will you have time to see what lies ahead. "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us".-Helen Keller.

Don't hold on to your past to the detriment of your future. This takes courage, a lot of courage to move on. There is always something better ahead and you will not see it if you keep looking behind.

It is never too late,,. take for instance a 70 year old man, who always wanted a degree - and he went out and got it! How must he have felt? Well he felt elated and that the world was his oyster.

Are you holding on to missed opportunities by holding on to regrets about the past? Do you continue to focus on what you should have, could have, and would have done? Encumbering yourself with "what ifs" will not bring these opportunities back to you. You shouldn't dwell on missed opportunities, but take in the knowledge that you've gained in return.

Here are my tips for dealing with regrets:

• Don't look back look forward
• Make friends with them, acknowledge them, accept them and then put them away.
• Make this your time for No Regrets
• Take a step back and see it from a different perspective, what could you have done differently?
• Identify what exactly the regret is. Are your feeling distorting the memory, did you have any responsibility over this regret.
• Learn from these feelings, so you don't do it again.
• Recognise what it is doing for you holding on to these regrets
• If there is something you can do about it, do it now. Forgive yourself and anyone else that may be involved.
• Set yourself a goal to make list of any regrets that you may have and DEAL WITH THEM.

In the "American Idol" show a man was featured who cracked under the pressure of the Hollywood round and he voluntarily took himself out of the running at that point to preserve his sanity. When he walked back into the testing room for this year's audition, he explained to the judges that he had awakened every day since that fateful decision, and had regretted not seeing the competition through. He said that he was there to try out again to prove to himself that he wasn't a quitter, or to avoid living with any more regrets. He sang his heart out, made it through to the Hollywood round again, and walked out with tears streaming down his face, saying he had just "won," regardless of the final outcome of this year's show.

Remembering the words of Edith Piaf's beautiful Song Non - Je ne Regrette Rien

No, no regrets
No, we will have no regrets
As you leave, I can say
Love was king, but for only a day

Life still goes on
Yes, even though love has gone
One last kiss
Shrug and sigh
No Regrets even though it's goodbye